My state

I feel my head shake,
Like an earthquake,
I feel the noises,
Filled with the voices.

I lay here,
Just like no one is near,
I like to lie easy,
and its freezes really,

I feel my head shake,
Like an earthquake,
I feel the noises,
Filled with the voices.

i want a new home,
to start a old game,
i stare at the ceiling,
it not a crazy feeling.

I feel my head shake,
Like an earthquake,
I feel the noises,
Filled with the voices. (2)

Hope

i thought nature was unbeatable,
i thought i was right... so was i,
until i saw her that night,
and i saw a light that night that i never saw again,
with innocence in her arms,
she walked through the boulevard of broken hope,
the flash in her eyes made no sound,
she pulled her hair back to see the angel up above,
thus her hair covered the sun leaving no room to breath,
as she saw the clouds shying,
she let her innocence break through a smile,
a smile that gave the world a new light... a hope

Wondering why i could neva make a successful me :(

Today i was watching the movie "A complete history of my sexual failures"... a documentary movie by Chris Waitt about why his girl friends dumped him... As i was thinking bout the movie i had the question in my mind "Wondering why i could neva make a successful me"

And here is what i analyzed...

well it started as a kid... I was not good at studies but my teachers called me a smart kid... When i grew up i felt smart but my professors call me a fool...

when i was a teen i feel in love and the girl did like me... when i grew old girls seem to like me but i dont seem to love anyone...

when i was doing biotechnology i used to assume a lot of things in the field based on logic and i was told thats wrong to do in any experiment.. now i am in finance where i try to find sensible information to make sense, but i have been said to assume things

in short... I have always been a failure in life who could neva understand what is sensible and true and whats not

the analysis is simple isn't it :P

And i said this to my friend and guess what happened???? Here is what we chat:

Friend: ha ha

i dont agree

that u r a fool

girishan: i have been

dont u see the analyis i made

Friend: whatever

i dont think u r a fool

girishan: thats the whole point

when i know that i am a fool the people around me dont think so... may be someday when i think i am not a fool u might

:P

Here i found another reason to why i i could neva make a successful me :)

A testimonial on 31st Oct 2008, 01:15AM (EST)

i have not known you for ages... but the seconds i get to know to you i feel the satisfaction of knowing u for years... its not that you make me feel good when we talk... its that you make me feel worse when we dont talk...

it was for this day that i lived all my life... when i looked into your eyes i felt i met my destiny... there you are with that beautiful smile that i wish to see finally.. before i leave this world

For i have seen you... My destiny

And she left....

seconds before i broke down i saw her eyes... i felt no love for me, it was the spark of love for another... I could see me in her eyes but not in the spark, and then she moved away in the mist... like that angel that disappears in the sky... It took a moment for me to realise that she left... she was not there to talk to me... she was not there to give me that smile... And i broke down cos i realised she was not there in my life any more...

I am the worst syntax error in gods programming.... He is trying to debug me but he keeps losing the track...

To know more about this worm http://learning-my-life.blogspot.com/

I believe in the golden words
"Wanting to be someone else is a waste of who you are...."
KURT COBAIN
(1967-1994)

" If u win u need not explain it to others, if u lose u should not be there to explain it to anyone"
ADOLF HITLER
30 January 1933 – 30 April 1945

One of the conversation i had with ma friend on Feb 21 2007:

Nikhil: Everyone wants to live for the day
CeeGeeKay: Even i want to live for the day.
CeeGeeKay: But live to make a difference tomorrow. (Belive me one of the best words ever came outta ma mouth)

"Live for the day to create a difference tomorrow"
GIRISHAN KARTHIK
13 Oct 1984

The best words of mine-
made me sane, i believe in no life,
did ya here me say, i aint like the lies,
see the lightening strike, world fakes now for real,
cant you feel, this souls needs no cover........

"but at other times,and this is when my most strongest feeling comes, i feel we are not without purpose in this universe...in fact the universe is meaningless without us"
The words said by a great person... my friend...

http://www.orkut.com/Profile.aspx?uid=12823109840349344020

NOTE: I have lately been detected with selective amnesia, and please bare with me if i ask the same thing more then once. Thanks for your co-operation